Why Kids Lie about Homework (and How to Handle It)

When you were young did you lie about homework? I certainly did. I’m not always sure why I lied to my parents about homework, but thinking back after all of these years it occurs to me that one reason for doing so was that it seemed like a huge amount of work. There were so many other things that I wanted to do and see but all I was told to do was homework. I went to school for hours and hours a day only to come home to do hours and hours of more work. This got worse and worse as I got older and found myself doing three to four hours of homework everyday in highschool. Do your children lie about doing their homework? Do they tell you that they don’t have any work, or do they tell you that it is already done or almost done? There are few children who have not lied at least a little about doing their homework. The question for you as a concerned parent is what to do about this situation. Should you punish them severely? Should you yell and scream at your children, regardless of their age or level of maturity? Perhaps you should do nothing at all and let them suffer the consequences of getting bad grades. These are all different ways to handle the situation, but none of these options is particularly good. Let’s face it, you need some sort of strategy or plan to deal with this situation, and you need to implement it now. The less homework your child does the worse their grades are, and in the long run that turns into missed opportunities that they will very much regret. While it is good to not be too severe, and especially with a young child, you need to help your child see what homework is all about and why lying about it is wrong.

Keep track of her homework.

Your children are probably lying about their homework both because they simply don’t want to do it and because they have other things that they would like to do. Confront your child both about the lying and not doing homework. Don’t be angry or confrontational. Show them that you understand why a person might not want to do homework. If they say it is because it is hard then you might be able to get them some tutoring help to make it easier. If it is because there are other things they want to do, then use those other things as an incentive for getting the work done. Suggest that you will help them get what they want, whether it is play time or some sort of special toy if they can get their homework done. Explain to them that they can’t pull the wool over your eyes, and that you know when they are lying. This should convince them that lying is not an effective way to get what they want. By replacing a negative strategy with a positive one you should see quick results.

The other thing you need to do is help your children see why homework is a good thing and why lying is a very bad thing. Help them to understand that lying harms people. Many children don’t realize the long term consequences of the things that they do. If they could see how their actions actually affect someone they would be sorry for them. Help them to understand that it hurts you when they lie and they will be far less likely to do so.