The sacrifice of motherhood is more than just giving up certain parts of your body for a while, getting sagging breasts, stretch marks, lacking energy, and dealing with poop, spit, etc. for several years. One of the sacrifices of motherhood is that of your college friendships. The following is a look at when motherhood ruins your college friendships:
1. It happens, so get over it. One of the biggest things you have to come to grips with is the fact that it is not completely unavoidable. If you stress over it, or make too big of a deal of it, that is when it becomes a problem. So, don’t worry about it so much. You will lose some of your college friends; it is inevitable. You are in different places in life, your interests have changed, and you no longer have the same things in common. So, instead of dwelling on it, make friends that do have similar interests. Make friends you can relate to because they have kids as well.
2. You can still be you, and see your friends, but it will be different. Do not let motherhood change your uniqueness. A lot of women think they have to give up their personality in order to have kids. That is not the case. You can still love rock concerts, and bowling with your friends, but things will be a little different. Instead of talking about a hopeful reunion tour of your favorite group, you will be telling stories of the hilarious things your kids did or said that day. Be yourself, and expect that things will be different now, but that is okay because your children are worth it.
3. You can make new friends, and eventually reconnect with old. Your college friendships may be ruined, especially if none of your college friends have kids, but that does not mean you have to be friend-less. Get out there and make some new friends. Meet people with kids, and play with them. Eventually most of your college friends will get back on the level you are on, by having their own children, etc. and you can rekindle the friendship then.
4. Stay in touch other ways. Just because you and your college buddies are no longer best of friends, and no longer hang out, due to the fact that you have children you have to drag along behind you, does not mean you have to totally lose touch. Instead of worrying about getting together frequently when conversations may be forced, or awkward, stay up to date with social networking sites. Look at their photos, read their status updates, and send the occasional checking in email.
5. Don’t just talk about your kids. Last but not least, if you want to try and salvage your college friendships, make sure that you have more dimensions to you than that of being mom. Make sure your friends know that they can go out for dinner with you and hear about things other than what your child learned at preschool that week. This will help you stay connected, even if your priorities and situations in life have changed.