When your teen gets their first boyfriend, it can bring about all kinds of fears. What kind of boy is it? Is he going to pressure her for sex? Are they going to be involved in the kind of activities and things I want my daughter involved in? These and other questions will likely enter your head. One of the best ways to dispel some of those fears is to meet the boyfriend in question. However, that in and of itself can be a strange and frightening experience. So, here are some tips on meeting your teen’s first boyfriend:
- Set down the rules, but don’t do it in a scary way. It is okay when you meet your teen’s first boyfriend to let him know what time your child’s curfew is, and what kind of behavior you expect, but that doesn’t mean you have to be intimidating. Make a list of the rules you want to advise them of beforehand, and casually mention them throughout the meeting. For example, you can ask if they have plans for the weekend. When they answer on it, comment on it, and say “I think it is great you guys are going to be out having fun, just remember my daughter needs to be home at 10 on weekdays and midnight on weekends.”
- Prepare yourself in advance. One of the most overwhelming, or difficult to deal with situations when meeting a first boyfriend, is having him physically appear different than you expected. Piercing, tattoos, long hair, dyed hair, facial hair, etc. can all be unexpected, and cause you to react in a way you don’t mean to. So, help yourself avoid a shocked response by asking your child to see a picture before you meet him.
- Keep the visit to a minimal. Meeting a first boyfriend is going to be awkward for everyone involved, even if you absolutely love their choice in boyfriend. So, help to avoid the agony, by keeping it short and casual. Talk in passing as you head out the door to do something, or as he picks her up, and she is still getting ready, etc. Do not try and fill an hour with conversation. It will not be a pleasant experience. You may also want to come up with some conversation points before hand, so that you do not have any awkward silences. A good example would be sports, what is going on in college or professional level sports, what sports they are involved in, what games they have watched recently, or who their teams are, etc.
These are just a few simple tips for making sure that the meeting of your teen’s first boyfriend goes smoothly, and is enjoyable. Just remember, if it is a bad experience, or if you are unhappy with their choice of significant other, do not mention in until they are gone, and you have had a chance to cool down and evaluate the situation.