Surf Net Parents

When motherhood ruins your college friendships, you have a choice. You can let it happen, or you can put a stop to it. You actually have one other choice as well, you can make the most of it. Let's explore your options.

Being a mom does not mean losing your identity. One of the surest ways to lose your college friendships is to lose yourself after having kids. If you forget the things that made you unique and you, and become all mom-mode, then it is going to be hard for your friends to relate with you, especially if they have no children. So, if you loved designer clothes before you had kids, you can still love them after, you just have to be choosier about when you wear them, as kids have a tendency to get you dirty. If you loved movies before kids, don't let your kids stop you from seeing them. Maintain the aspects of yourself that made you uniquely you.

Being a mom opens up doors to new friendships. When you become a mom you have a great ice breaker for making new friendships--your kid! So, take advantage of it. There is a good chance you will lose some of your college friends. It happens, you no longer have as much to keep you bonded, and you lose touch. However, you can make new, stronger friendships. Often, the best friendships are those formed with the moms of the kids your kid's age. You can go to playgroups and get to know the other moms in your area. You can go to a playground, and strike up conversations with other moms at the park. You can enroll your child in preschool and get to know the parents of the other children in your kid's class. Make new friends to help replace some of the friendships that are bound to fall by the wayside.

Catching up with old friends can be enriching.

Of course, new friends are great, but maintaining some of your college friends is nice as well. The following are some simple tips for staying close to college friends:

1. Have kid free nights. Do not take your kids with you. As adorable as you think they are, chances are your college friends are not that interested in hauling a kid around and dealing with the mess, whininess, and never ending questions, crying, etc. that are children. Get a sitter and go out with your friends the way you did before kids to help preserve some of your friendship.

2. Familiarize your friends to your kids. If your friends have a chance to get to know your kids, and get a little involved in your kid's lives, they won't be so annoyed or feel so separate from you because of your kids. Invite them to milestones in your child's life. Keep them updated informally, with blogs, Facebook, etc. Help your child get to know your friends as well so that they are excited to see them, and so that it is a positive experience each time they interact.

3. Don't just talk about your kids. When you are with your college friends, do not ruin the friendship by going on and on about your children, and talking about nothing else. Even when they like your kids a lot, they don't necessarily want to hear every detail about your kid's life. So, make sure you converse about other things as well.

As childhood obesity becomes a growing issue today, parents are becoming more aware of the effect of too much time spent playing video games, computer games or watching movies on their children. That's why outdoor toys are a perfect way to get kids off the couch or away from the computer and video games and get outside. Not only do they encourage an active lifestyle, but they help kids get the exercise they need to stay healthy and strong. Exercise is important to kids for a number of reasons, including:

 they are less likely to be overweight and develop the health problems that come with excess weight
 they have a better outlook on life in general
 they are able to sleep better
 they handle he demands of every day life better
 they are happier and healthier in general

While exercise is a four-letter word for some adults, for kids exercise comes in the form of play! If your kids love to be outside but you're afraid they'll get bored, or if you want to encourage more outside play, outdoor toys are an excellent way for parents to encourage an active lifestyle in their kids.

There are a number of fun outdoor toys and games available today that kids will enjoy, each suitable to a variety of seasons. Some of these include:

 Volleyball/badminton net. A badminton set is great for the whole family, not just the kids! Volleyball and badminton sets can be purchased for around $20 and set it up in the backyard. This is a great activity for older kids as they get exercise and it improves hand-eye coordination. You can also get a volleyball and play with it, or a blow up beach ball or large playground ball and have fun hitting it back and forth across the net.

 Sprinklers. On a hot day, hook a sprinkler up to the hose and let your kids go wild. Running through the sprinklers is a fun way for kids to get exercise and cool off during the summer. Many stores sell sprinklers in fun shapes for kids, like bugs or fire hydrants.

 Playground balls. Playground balls, soccer balls and baseballs all have a wide range of uses, from kickball to playing soccer with the family, playing catch or playing baseball one-on-one or form a team. Investing in outside balls is a great way to get kids to play outside and get exercise.

 Bikes. A bike is a childhood staple for many families. Whether you have a toddler who can push himself around on a tricycle or an older child, a bike is great exercise. Family bike rides are a great way to enjoy quality time together and everyone gets needed exercise.

Outdoor toys are a great way to encourage kids to get off the couch or away from the computer and get outside and get some exercise. You don't need to spend money to get your kids to play outside. Even if you don't have a lot of toys for playing outside, that's OK as kids love playing games like tag, an excellent form of exercise, or their own made up games.

If you want your children to adjust to a new baby, there are some specific areas you have to be careful about, and some specific things you can do. The following are five tips for helping older siblings adjust to life with baby:

1. Plan for baby. The more you plan the better the adjustment will be. If your child is thrown off balance when the baby comes, they will have a much harder time adjusting. However, if they are prepared for it, and know what to expect, the adjustment will go far better. So, plan for baby. Make sure you talk about these plans with your other children. They should know what they will be doing while you are at the hospital, what their role will be when baby is at home, etc.

Give your child plenty of notice to prepare.

2. Get them involved. The more involved they are, the more excited they will be, and the easier it will be for them to get used to baby. So, help them get involved. If you are preparing a room for the baby, ask their advice on decorating. If you are shopping for baby supplies, ask them to pick out a few things. If you are debating baby names, ask their opinion. The more involved they are before, the easier it is when it happens. However, involvement should not stop there. Have them involved in the care of baby. If they are really young, have them help you by doing things like getting you wipes when the baby needs a diaper change. If they are a little older, have them help you by feeding the baby a bottle, or holding the baby while you get things done. The more involved in baby, the better.

3. Don't leave them out. Kids have a harder time adjusting when they are not being included in the process. Make sure they visit you at the hospital. Send birth announcements that have their name as well. At showers, or parties for the baby be sure they receive a gift or two as well. The more they feel apart, and the less they feel neglected, the better, for you and them.

4. Help them get to know baby. It is easier to adjust to a new baby in the house if you can think of them as more than just a helpless, crying, lump. So, help your other children see the baby has a personality. Get them talking to, laughing with, tickling, and playing with the baby. Help them see the baby's unique personality traits, and tell them about theirs when they were a child so that they will related with baby.

5. Minimize changes. The less that changes, the easier the adjustment will be. So, do not try and make drastic changes right after baby arrives. Never try and potty train with a new baby. Never move right after a new baby if you can help it, etc. The less change they have to deal with, the better. In addition, do your best to keep your home routine and schedule the same so that they feel normalcy.

You can help your child who is struggling for independence to have it by doing the following:

1. Facebook and MySpace accounts. Independence is often achieved through self expression, and being able to control parts of your own life. If you want your child to be more independent, a great first step is to allow them to create a Facebook or MySpace account. Let them choose which photos to post, what to write, etc. However, as a parent, you also need to protect them, so do so by creating your own account and having them add you as friends and place you in their top friend spot. Also make sure you have passwords to their accounts.

2. Get a job. Letting your child have a job is a good way to give them independence. In addition, it teaches them some responsibility. They have to learn to get themselves to work on time, to manage the money they earn, to take direction form a boss, and much more. Having a job, where they are responsible for keeping it, is a great step forward on the road to independence, as it teaches valuable life skills that you will need later.

3. Give them allowance, or get a job. This goes somewhat with the above tip, but if your child does not get a job, consider giving them an allowance of some sort. Money is a great way to help them have independence, as it allows them to choose their own clothes, activities, etc. In addition, it teaches them to use money when it is not going to mean eating or not eating. While giving your child money, also give them some of the skills to use their money wisely, so that as they learn independence they also learn appropriate management of funds.

4. Pick own clothes. Allow your child to choose their own clothes, even if you are paying for them. How a kid dressed, and what they wear to school says a lot about who they are. Let them decide who they want to be, and be supportive of it. Telling them you will buy their clothes, but then only being willing to buy what you like is not going to help them be independent, but the opposite. So, worry less about their appearance, and be willing to let them wear what they want as long as it does not go against your rules or standards.

5. Asking and listening to their opinions. Independence comes as a rite of growing up, and part of growing up is becoming and independent thinker, one that does not follow the opinions of others blindly, but seeks out their own opinions on things. So, help them develop their own opinions about things by asking them for them, and not criticizing their opinions too much, or at least not until they can handle the pressure and still hold to their opinion.