The following are some simple hints for how you can say goodbye to mommy guilt and embrace the good mother in you.
Do the math: Many mom’s feel guilt when they spend time on themselves, rather than on their kids. If your “you” time means having a job or sleeping in, great. If it means taking a bath and reading a book, that’s great, too. The math says that taking that time, no matter how selfish it feels, is actually good for your kids. Why? Check out the math.
You + You time = happy you
Happy you + your children = happy children
Happy children + life = well-adjusted children
Well-adjusted children = good mom!
Be realistic. Life happens, cars break down, dishes sit in the sink dirty and people are late. If you want to stop the mommy guilt, look at the situations that cause you to feel guilty with a dose of reality. Being late to school on occasion won’t make your child dumb. You working may mean someone else helps raise your children, but if you don’t work, will they have food? clothes? a roof over their heads? Looking at situations realistically, rather than through the exaggerated lens of guilt, will help you not only see the positive aspects of the moments you must spend not tending your children, it will also alleviate most of your mommy guilt.
Make your time count. When you spend time with your children, make it count. Feeling guilty over time you can’t spend with them is wasted energy. So, stop wasting your energy and, instead, make the most of the time you do have.
Don’t compare yourself to other moms. This will cause you nothing but frustration. So, instead of worrying about what other moms are doing right, worry about yourself and what you can improve on. If you work to improve yourself and give no credence to what every other mom out there does, you will be a much better, and much happier, mom.
Learn to plan and organize. Life is going to happen and things will get in the way of you being the “perfect” mom. However, sometimes a little planning and organizing can go a long way toward helping you alleviate a great deal of mom guilt. For example, setting your child’s clothes out and packing their lunches the night before can make the morning hustle of getting ready for school far easier.
Just remember that being a mom is not easy and that it is tiring, so when you order pizza for dinner because you are just too worn out to cook, don’t berate yourself. Congratulate yourself for feeding you children. You can let go of mom guilt if you recognize your value, and how you enrich your children’s lives. Even when there is more you can be doing, be happy with all that you do.