You can help your child who is struggling for independence to have it by doing the following:
1. Facebook and MySpace accounts. Independence is often achieved through self expression, and being able to control parts of your own life. If you want your child to be more independent, a great first step is to allow them to create a Facebook or MySpace account. Let them choose which photos to post, what to write, etc. However, as a parent, you also need to protect them, so do so by creating your own account and having them add you as friends and place you in their top friend spot. Also make sure you have passwords to their accounts.
2. Get a job. Letting your child have a job is a good way to give them independence. In addition, it teaches them some responsibility. They have to learn to get themselves to work on time, to manage the money they earn, to take direction form a boss, and much more. Having a job, where they are responsible for keeping it, is a great step forward on the road to independence, as it teaches valuable life skills that you will need later.
3. Give them allowance, or get a job. This goes somewhat with the above tip, but if your child does not get a job, consider giving them an allowance of some sort. Money is a great way to help them have independence, as it allows them to choose their own clothes, activities, etc. In addition, it teaches them to use money when it is not going to mean eating or not eating. While giving your child money, also give them some of the skills to use their money wisely, so that as they learn independence they also learn appropriate management of funds.
4. Pick own clothes. Allow your child to choose their own clothes, even if you are paying for them. How a kid dressed, and what they wear to school says a lot about who they are. Let them decide who they want to be, and be supportive of it. Telling them you will buy their clothes, but then only being willing to buy what you like is not going to help them be independent, but the opposite. So, worry less about their appearance, and be willing to let them wear what they want as long as it does not go against your rules or standards.
5. Asking and listening to their opinions. Independence comes as a rite of growing up, and part of growing up is becoming and independent thinker, one that does not follow the opinions of others blindly, but seeks out their own opinions on things. So, help them develop their own opinions about things by asking them for them, and not criticizing their opinions too much, or at least not until they can handle the pressure and still hold to their opinion.