How to Be Involved As A Parent: Even If Your Child Doesn’t Want It

There aren’t many parents who don’t want a few extra hours during the day to be more involved in their child’s life, and most will tell you that being involved has great benefits to the parent and the child. And most children welcome the idea of the parent(s) being more involved in their life. There are some children however that don’t welcome the thought of having a parent involved in their life. So how can you be involved as a parent even if your child doesn’t want it?

A Good Starting Point

As hard as it may seem that any child would not want a parent to be more involved in their life, it does happen. And unfortunately some parents will leave it at that and the relationship between the child and parent dwindles until finally there is nothing left. If a child is not wanting parent involvement there is usually a reason for it. A good starting point is trying to figure out why they don’t want you involved in their life. It may be something you said to them, or some incident that they remember, but whatever it is the reason behind it needs to be found. Some different ways to go about finding that are:

1.Ask a close friend to talk with them and see what’s bothering them. While you might want to approach them first, they may see you as a threat and not be willing to open up to you.

2.Talking with a professional who can help sort through some problems can always help in figuring out what’s really going on. It may take a while but will be worth it in the end.

3.Talking with them yourself is also an option. Just make sure that you know you won’t push them even further away than they have already gone.

Start with the Home

Even if a child does not welcome your involvement it doesn’t mean that you should just walk away and be ok with that. Parent involvement has proven to be a great motivator for educational success and can help kids develop strong and healthy relationships with others. If you walk away, you are not giving them the nurturance they need. The best place to start is in your own home. Starting inside the home is the best place because it is a place of security and love. Your child is less likely to feel threatened at home than they are at school, or at some other activity. There are a number of subtle ways to get involved with your child in the comfort of your very own home:

•Offer to cook them their favorite meal. You may already know what it is but ask them again and see if you can’t get them to tell you why it’s their favorite. This shows them that you care about them and are willing to do things that make them happy.

•Play some family games. Even though it’s the whole family you are still getting involved with your child, and they are getting the opportunity to be involved with everyone else. This gives them the chance to see a different face on you and not just the mean old mom or dad they may see from day to day.

•Reading. Whether your child is young or old, all children love to read stories. You can read simple board books with young children, or more complex chapter books with older ones. You don’t even have to make a big deal out of it; simply ask them what they like to read, or if they would like to read a book with you. It’s a simple way of telling them that you are willing to take time out of your day to spend just with them.

Involving yourself as a parent even if your child doesn’t want it makes it even more critical to do. Don’t just walk away from your child and think that things will change or get better. You need to take an active role in becoming more involved with them; even if it’s by taking baby steps the whole way.