Teens are often rude, but the problem is less that they are rude, and more that people often excuse the behavior because they are teens. If your teen is being rude, then, get a handle on it by doing the following four things:
1. Find out why they are being rude. Often a teen is rude because of something. Maybe they feel like you are not giving them the responsibility they deserve. Maybe they are being rude because you missed something and did not realize it. For example, maybe you were supposed to pick them up from a practice and never showed, and then did not even realize it. So, if your teen is being rude, ask why. Try and discover it. Maybe it is just something like they are trying to impress their friends.
2. Don’t ignore their rudeness. If your teen is being rude you have to speak up and call them out on it. Never let them get away with being rude. If you allow it, even once, you are essentially giving them permission to be rude. If you want to handle a rude teen, it is time to put your foot down, even if you have been letting them get away with it for some time. Start fresh today and let them know you are not okay with them being rude. Not only should you let them know that their behavior is unacceptable, but be specific about what they are doing that you are not okay with. Chances are they won’t listen, but if you are consistent with it, and continually stop them every time they are rude, eventually it will stop.
3. Create specific consequences for their rude behavior. It is critical that you make sure when your teen is rude, there is a consequence for it, and that they know what that consequence will be. A lot of times, their peers influence their behavior, so teaching them what is unacceptable, and adding in some real consequences will help their insolence become less cool, and more of a pain for them. Instead of having something to brag to their friends about, they will be taking the bus because their car got taken away, or using the home phone because their cell phone is off limits, etc. Let them know that if they are rude to you there will be a real consequence.
4. Help them find better outlets for their emotions. Teens often do not know how to handle emotions, frustrations, communication roadblocks, etc. and so they are rude. If you want to handle a rude teen, help them find more constructive and positive ways to handle emotion. In many cases your child is not trying to hurt you, they are just trying to express the emotions they are feeling in the way they can.
Do not tolerate rudeness, ever.