Peer Pressure, Friends and Drugs

Talking about the hard issues like sex, alcohol, and drugs is hard for any parent. You often feel nervous and scared. You feel awkward and like you may not say the right thing. Don't worry. Prepare before you talk to your child, but just relax. They want to know about it and they want to hear it from you. When you talk to your kids about drugs, there are a few things that you need to bring up.

Tell your child first what you expect from them. Tell them that drugs are bad and illegal. Tell them that they are illegal for anyone to use or have. Explain that they won't be tolerated at home or anywhere else. Set firm rules but don't scare them. Also explain the difference between good and bad drugs. Let them know that there are medicines that are helpful but that there are also illegal drugs that aren't good for people and harm them. Let them know that using medicine too much or using it when it's not needed is also bad. Let them know that they can still harm themselves if they use legal medicine too much.

Teach your child standards. They should be taught from a very young age. The younger they are taught, the more comfortable and easy it will be for them to follow them. Encourage them to stand up for themselves. Reward them when they do something right and when they decide to choose a good thing instead of a bad thing. Encourage them to make choices. Have them help you decide what to do for a party or how many people to invite for their birthday party. Start with this very young. It will help them learn about choices and how each choice they make has a consequence.

Boost your child's self esteem. Do it by talking to them everyday and telling them that you love them. You can never tell your child enough how much you love them. Spend a little time each week with each of your children. Do something together where you can talk and just have fun together. It will help build your relationship and will help boost them up.

Teach your child how to say no. Tell them that they will have tons of pressure from friends but that it is still wrong. Tell them that friends are wonderful and great but that sometimes they make bad choices because they weren't taught or don't care about the consequences. Role play with them in ways that make it fun for them and that they will really understand.

Tell them that they will have friends who will make bad choices and that instead of doing what they are doing, they can help their friend. Friends often have a huge influence on children, and even adults, and so it's better to teach your child to be their own person and to really be a role model for other people. Teach them to stand up for themselves and not to give in to peer pressure.

Encourage your children. In their teenage years, they will have a lot of doubts about themselves and they need to be taught about the importance of themselves. Tell them that you love them every single day and that they are so important to you. Encourage them and congratulate them on everything that they do. It will help them overcome and be able to stand up to peer pressure. Let them know that they are perfect the way that they are.

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Surf Net Parents is part of the Surfnetkids.com family of sites from syndicated columnist Barbara J. Feldman. The title, which now sounds silly, grew from wanting to expand from "Surfing the Net with Kids" to "Surfing the Net with Parents."

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