Parenting Styles 101

You are going to be a parent. You didn’t know you needed a style! Well you are in luck, here we will go over all of the different aspects of parenting styles. This should help ease your mind and get you closer to a decision.

We will start with the four main parenting styles. They include authoritarian, permissive, authoritative and uninvolved. They may be referred to as different names in different places, but they are still the four basics.

We will look at each style and the effects they have on children. They will show the role the parents choose to play and how the family is established. After that we will look at different environmental factors that will play a role in your decision as well.

Authoritarian

This parenting style holds lots of rules and discipline. Children are expected to obey parents without argument or hesitation. There are no rewards for obedience, it is just how things are done. Parents are not responsive to their children, they don’t openly show love. With this style of parenting children tend to have poorly developed skills, they don’t do well socially or in decision making. Children also tend to have low self esteem and confidence. Depression as well as obesity runs high among children of these parents.

Permissive

With permissive parenting children are given lots of freedom. Parents aren’t disciplinary, but they are very responsive to their children. Children are able to make their own decisions and they suffer their own consequences without parental intervention. This parenting type is good for reserved and withdrawn children. Behavioral problems are high among children in this style. Their tendencies may be uncaring, spoiled, immature, and selfish. In some cases children learn to take advantage of their parents because of lack of discipline.

Authoritative

Children of authoritative parents get the best of both of the previous styles. They are given discipline while allowed to make choices. Parents and children sit down together to make decisions and are open and loving. Parents are flexible, but children know where their parents stand. Children within this parenting style are likely to become confident and independent. They are likely to cooperate well with adults and seek counsel before making a decision. Children also tend to be more socially competent and have higher standards for themselves. They are shown love and discipline.

Uninvolved

Parents who choose this style of parenting feel that they are not responsible for their children. Children are given no rules and are shown little, if any, love. Parents play a little as possible role in their children’s lives. With this parenting style there is a poor performance quality from the children. Children are often alone through all of the big decisions in life.

When choosing a parenting style, keep a few things in mind. Your personality will have a huge affect on your parenting. If you choose a style that doesn’t fit then you will not be as affective of a parent as you could.

Look at your and your spouse’s backgrounds. Look at how you were raised and what qualities you want to incorporate or avoid because of your childhoods. A great place to start is finding out how you got to where you are.

With your child remember to consider the situation, their temperament, their age and maturity, development, and any special circumstances that may exist. These will all play a role in your parenting.

Parenting is a crazy juggling and balancing act. Be sure that you are always looking for ways to improve and noticing where changes are necessary. You are not locked into the parenting style you choose, there is always some wiggle room.

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Surf Net Parents is part of the Surfnetkids.com family of sites from syndicated columnist Barbara J. Feldman. The title, which now sounds silly, grew from wanting to expand from "Surfing the Net with Kids" to "Surfing the Net with Parents."

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