Setting rules as a parent can be extremely hard. You don't want your daughter to do certain things, but then you don't want her to hate you either. It is a fine line between too controlling and fair. To help you find that fine line, try some of these ideas when setting rules for your daughter.
First off, make sure that when you set rules, they apply to both daughters and sons and your oldest and youngest. Your children deserve to be treated fairly and by setting different rules for different children, it isn't fair. You can't give one child preferential treatment over another.
If one child breaks the rules, then of course they will be punished and the rules will be changed for them. But make sure that you have the same punishment for all of your children. If one breaks curfew then they get a certain punishment. If another child breaks curfew then they get the same punishment.
If your child breaks a rule, have a way for them to redeem themselves and be able to get back to the rules before they broke one. It isn't fair for them not to be able to redeem themselves. Think about it as your credit score. If you declare bankruptcy, you have a certain amount of time and have to do good in order to get that erased and be able to get loans again. Put something like that into place for your children. Let them know that when they can show they are good and are willing to obey the rules again, they can redeem themselves and have the normal rules.
When you and your spouse make the rules, make them realistic. You have to consider that your kids aren't all the same age, aren't all the same size, and can't do all the same things. If you are deciding chores, you can't expect a four year old to clean the sinks in the bathrooms, they can barely reach them, so have an older child do it.
When you make rules, they have to be enforced. You can't punish a child one day for something and then when they do it again a week later not punish them then. Both parents have to enforce rules and be strict about them. If your child does something wrong make sure your spouse knows what happened and is aware of the punishment. Also, you can't let them forget about the rules. If you have to, put up something on the fridge or somewhere else that everyone sees, that has the rules listed on it. That way no one will forget or have an excuse. Enforcing rules isn't always fun, but it helps to teach your children valuable lessons about the world and about consequences.
Setting rules for girls is about the same as setting rules for boys. You can't have a different set for each, but girls can't always do the same things boys can. Boys are usually taller and so can get higher things better, but aside from some physical differences, make rules the same for both genders. Making things different just because one is a girl and one is a boy isn't fair for your children. It will create resentment from them and problems that aren't necessary at all. Follow these ideas when you are creating rules for your children.
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