Does birth order really affect personality? Are second children more likely to have issues than the youngest? Are only children really spoiled brats or are they just independent? Learn the answers to all of these questions here.
Birth order and personality was first suggested by Alfred Adler, who claimed that birth order leaves a lasting impression on one’s style of life, the way she deals with friendship, love, and work. However, there may be outside influences that also affect birth order and personality, including the spacing of years between the siblings, the total number of children, and the parent’s situation over time. Personal characteristics, temperament, and gender also influence the effect of birth order and personality.
Here is a brief description of some of the characteristics that may be common among children or adults of each birth order:
First born children are usually natural leaders. As children, they were raised to help care for and watch the younger children, so they’re usually very responsible. They are driven and usually like to manage others. Firstborns love to be in control and often feel uncomfortable when they are not the master of a situation. However, they do have a great ability to organize others and achieve any goal they put their mind to.
Second born children are usually the "people" people. They're the outgoing ones, the compromisers and the flexible ones. In many ways, second borns are just the opposite of first borns. They see the competition with the first born and decide to react directly contrary to the first born. They long to belong to a group, whether it be a work, school, or play. Second borns desire friendship and can often be the glue that holds a relationship together. Second or middle born children may often suffer from “second child syndrome” and may feel ignored or unappreciated. Being in the middle can make the second child feel insecure.
Only children have an interesting situation. Since they spent much of their younger years in the company of adults, it's not surprising that these children often develop characteristics that will please their elders. As children, they may have been spoiled and pampered, and as a result may be very precocious. Since onlys spent so much of their childhood on their own, they may prefer their own company. Onlys aim to please and desire recognition for their success. They also tend to have trouble with conflict.
Youngest children are the idea people. They love challenges and often initiate activities. They are not, however, usually very good at finishing things. Youngests will also do anything to be noticed, be it good or bad. This is usually the favored position on the family, as the oldest has all the responsibility, and the middle child claims to be ignored.
Although there may be strong tendencies toward personality traits that coincide with birth order, there are also many adults and children who do not show any of the traits that they “should” show based on their birth order. For example, an oldest born whose parents were very doting and who did not place much responsibility on him/her may not be as responsible or driven as one might expect. A middle child who was the only boy may not show any of the characteristics that are common to middle children, as he is the only boy and therefore got his attention that way. Or a youngest child whose parents were just as strict with him/her as the others may not grow up to be as self-centered or spoiled. In reality, however, people can choose who they want to become. No birth order can change who you want to be when you set your mind to it.
