When you are ready to have children, or when you think you are ready, there are so many things to consider. One of the many things that will need to be discussed and determined will be your parenting style.
There is a great possibility that husband and wife came from different parenting styles. This will mean that they either want to raise their children the way they were raised or avoid raising their children how they were raised, depending on their circumstances.
Before any children are present it is a great idea to make a decision about what you both feel will be an effective parenting style. If you wait until you are parenting and a conflict occurs, it will be detrimental to both the parents and the child.
There are four basic parenting styles to look at. They all range in rules and involvement. You may not necessarily fit perfect into one type, which is ok. Many families use a combination of parenting styles that are different with each child and situation.
The first type is authoritarian parenting. This is a style where there are very high expectations of children and the parents are not sympathetic. There are strict rules that children are expected to obey without questioning. The choices are the parent’s duty and there are no rewards for following the rules. Children are not encouraged to seek any independence or step out on their own. Children are expected to listen, but parents are not.
Next comes authoritative parenting. This style is considered the “happy medium” when it comes to parenting. Children are explained the rules and told their expectations. Parents are very responsive to children; they are open to talking and discussing what the kids are feeling. The children are given a chance to make their own choices, with an understanding that big decisions are up to the parents. This style is also known as the democratic style; it is the most flexible parenting style. Communication is a big part of authoritative parenting, parents both talk and listen to their children.
Another style of parenting is permissive or indulgent parenting. With this style there are very few, rarely any, rules for children. They are free to make their own decisions and learn from their mistakes. The parents are very loving and nurturing, but don’t use any discipline. The children decide a lot of what goes on in their lives and are given lots of freedom. The communication here is never disciplinary.
Last is the uninvolved parenting style. This can also be called the neglectful style of parenting. With this style the children are not disciplined. Parents don’t feel that they are responsible for their children and they are non-responsive. This style, if taken to extremes can be considered abuse, but it is not always the case. There is very little communication with an uninvolved parent.
The style you choose will have a huge impact on your family life, and especially the life of your child. How children are parented affect their learning abilities, their social behavior, how they respond to other adults and it also has been proven to affect their weight. No one style is right and there is not a particular one that is wrong, it is all a matter of personalities.
Each of these styles will be adapted to fit your situation and your children. But knowing where both spouses stand before a problem arises is the best way to start parenting. Learn your children and learn what parenting style is best for them. Make sure the style you choose works well with both of the parent’s personalities as well.
Leave a comment